Some FAQs

This post is to address a common set of questions we have been asked regarding our nuptials.

Q. Why Boulder? Is same-sex marriage legal there?
A. Uh, no. In terms of places that will sanction same-sex marriages, Colorado will probably come after Mississippi. There is no need to get into a political discussion about Focus on the Family, but let's just say that it's going to be a while for that state (or even the liberal city of Boulder) to recognize such unions.

We chose Boulder for a few reasons. Firstly, when Courtney was an undergraduate at CU Boulder, she saw a wedding at the Chautauqua Green (our location) and decided that if she were to marry, this would be the place. Secondly, all of you would kill us if we asked you to come to New York City and pay $300 a night for a hotel. Thirdly, Boulder is where Courtney and Sonja met. Even though the relationship was not official until we became New Yorkers, it seems like a good place to come full circle.

Q. Traveling to Boulder is expensive. I'm not sure I can afford it.
A. It absolutely is. We understand that not all of you will be able to afford the trip, but we hope to see you. We have secured a pretty good rate for the Broker Inn (see previous post). The rate is good for up to four people per room. E-mail us- we may be able to introduce you to a potential roommate, or someone to share a rental car with. Boulder also has a pretty great bus system that goes all over town and some decent options for cheap food. Just let us know what you need.

Q. Is this a marriage? A commitment ceremony? A civil union?
A. All of the above. We have referred to it in a number of ways and you are welcome to as well.

Q. Why not have your ceremony in a place that recognizes same-sex unions?
A. There are only five states that allow civil unions: Oregon, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Vermont. Massachusetts recognizes same-sex marriages, but couples actually have to live there to qualify. If we did go to one of these states and get "civil unioned" or married, the partnership would not be recognized by any other state. We support those states (and those couples) that have acted as trailblazers, but our reasoning not to have our ceremony in any of these locations is more complicated than that, but at the same time very simple. First and foremost, this is about us and our love. While the country debates this issue, we want to announce to our friends and family that we have chosen to commit to each other.

As an aside, we do believe that same-sex marriage will happen in our lifetimes. If you want to read more about the issue, or to help in whatever way you feel comfortable, check out this site: http://www.freedomtomarry.org.

Q. Do you have a gift registry?
A. Yes, but this is not the reason you are invited to come. We want your presence, not your presents. (Courtney gets credit for that line, btw). If you want to give us a gift, we will welcome it, but it is not necessary, especially if you are emptying your savings account to come to our wedding. As of this post, we are still updating our registry and will provide details either in a later post or upon e-mail request.

Q. Should I take it personally that I was not asked to be part of the wedding party?
A. Nope. We decided not to have a wedding party. We are simple women. There will most likely be a part in the ceremony where we ask our guests to give us a blessing for our union. We would love it if you participated in that way.

Q. Why doesn't the invitation include an R.S.V.P. card?
A. We are trying to minimize the paper and petrol used to send these things across the country. We have this site that can be updated with all pertinent information, and an e-mail address to capture all R.S.V.P. information. We will send out any updates via the e-mail address you use to R.S.V.P., but be sure to check the blog as well.

Q. Can I bring a date/partner/friend?
A. Sure. All we ask is that you include this information in your R.S.V.P. (send an e-mail to whowearsthedress@gmail.com).

Q. Who is going to officiate your ceremony?
A. We found someone from the Psychic Horizons Center in Boulder. She is a reverend, and pretty in tune with what we wish to express. It's Boulder, so we're allowed to be total hippies about this and have a psychic reverend marry us.

Q. Who is wearing the dress?
A. Both of us are. J Crew, if you must know. And no, they are not white.

Group Rate for Hotel

For all of you out-of-towners we have secured a great group rate for the Boulder Broker Inn. The rooms are available from 4/23-4/28 at $79 a night- which includes breakfast. The rate is for two beds, good for up to four people. This is an unbelievable deal for Boulder. The Broker is very close to Broadway, which has a major bus line leading to Pearl Street, and the Super Shuttle service to the Denver airport stops in their parking lot.

To reserve a room call 800-338-5407 and mention the "Law-Semion group" by April 1.